I had a conversation over the weekend with a single black woman from Tennessee. She was intelligent, well-educated and sharp, but also rude, pushy and off-putting. Our conversation turned to marriage and the roles of men and women within a marriage, and I said, “I feel like the man should be the head of the household. Not that he’s the “boss,” but that, in the end, the man should be the key decision-maker and the leader and protector of the rest of the family. It’s also the man’s burden to make sure there is food on the table.” In my opinion, one of the primary reasons black men refuse to marry is that they have been emasculated in their role as leader of the family. My friend from Tennessee went into a rage, suggesting that I was a sexist. I don’t consider myself a sexist; I look at my wife as an equal partner in my marriage, and my wife agrees with me on the roles of women and men. Is it wrong for me to think that there should a division of labor and responsibilities in a marriage or other relationship?? If I’m a rational man with a good head on his shoulders, shouldn’t I be the head of my household? Shouldn’t my kids look to me as the final authority? (I understand many men are not fit for this role.)
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