The difference between upper-middle class kids and working class and poor kids happens early. Annette Lareau is a sociology professor at Temple University who has written a book studying the differences in child rearing between the two classes. In “Unequal Childhood: Class, Race, and Family Life,” Lareau details the parenting structure of upper-middle class parents. These parents enroll their kids in a number of adult supervised activities, they converse with their kids instead of issuing gruff orders, the give their kids “choices” and then subtly influence those choices to fit their values, and they allow their kids to pass judgments on adults and express themselves emotionally.
Working class parenting is characterized by the issuance of gruff orders with no explanation other than, “because I said so.” Working class parents tend to let their kids organize their own playtime under the theory that the adult world will be thrust upon them soon enough. These kids tend to be more relaxed and vibrant, have closer contact with extended family members, and they tended to whine less than their upper-middle class counterparts.
Despite this rosy picture of working class childhood, according to Lareau, these kids are not as prepared for the structured world of adulthood as their upper-middle class counterparts. Upper-middle class kids grow up better able to speak and verbally joust with their bosses and co-workers. Working-middle class kids become flustered to respond when given orders from bosses they don’t agree with. The theory being that they did not have the verbal jousting training in childhood.
How can we improve the State of . . . African-American children in our households knowing this? Many working class and poor parents aren’t able to stop and read this book and implement its findings. They can only teach what they have been taught. I have been one of those people who quietly ridiculed the parenting style where the kids were treated as little adults. However, as I grow older I see that the best thing you can do for your child is prepare them for adulthood. Although I have no kids of my own, I hope that I can balance the two worlds so that my kids can have a memorable childhood while being fully prepared to handle themselves when I’m gone.
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