Ships Passing in the Night

If I had a dollar for every black man I know in his late 30s that says he “can’t find the right woman” or every black woman that says she “can’t find a eligible man,” I’d be rich. I’ve found that most of this seemingly incessant complaining comes from people with deep-seated family issues that they are totally unwilling to face–due to fear. In this article, writer Darryl James explores the deep sense of hopelessness present in many black men and women today. Concluding that many people find it easier to be sad than happy, James explores the truths and myths of black love. Let’s have hope, y’all. Let’s uplift each other, not bash each other. If you bash black men or women, stop. My recommendation: realize yourself first. If you are paralyzed by the past or rigid criteria for a mate, get used to being single.

“I hear it in the circles of Black women. And, lately, I’ve been hearing it more and more in circles of Black men. As a people, we are becoming less and less hopeful.” “But what some people are managing to do is find hope. People are finding hope in the fact that while 47% of Black women age 30 to 34 have never been married, 53% have been, and many still are.”

He continues . . .“So, with so much to be hopeful for, why is there so much negativity being spread around? The sad and simple truth is that negativity is far more seductive than positivity. The dark side of the force is no more powerful than the light side, yet, the dark side is more seductive because of its forbidden nature, which sparks curiosity.”

“I’ll say this to Black women: You are the only ones who use finance and education to measure potential mates. Check the marriage statistics or conduct a real survey and you’ll find that finance and education were not the criteria used to find and secure stable, lasting relationships.

“And, I’ll say this to Black men: The Black women with the nasty attitudes who believe that their education and illusion of wealth mean more than they do are not the majority. There are still smart, pretty, healthy Black women who understand what a partnership is all about.

It’s hard to deliver hope to the hopeless. Especially when the hopeless are not interested in finding hope, but only in perpetuating their dismal outlook on life and love.”