Deadbeat Dads - The Lowest Form Of Life On Earth
Posted on May 1, 2008 by thestateofblog
How all these black men abandon their children is beyond me (J). If I could change one thing in this world, it would be this.
Filed under: Family, Relationships
Some of these guys might be chicken. Perhaps the mothers who are abandoned aren’t exactly conducive to allowing a responsible man to be involved in his child’s life. Still I think that a lot of these men are deadbeats who do not want to take responsibility for the care of the child and I think that’s unfortunate.
Good point Levois.
Big J, I think you oversimplify the situation: “Black”, “deadbeat”, “abandon”, “dad”.
The problem starts long before that.
We have created a society of people that begin having sex as early as 12 and 13 years old. We are a society that has reduced the value of marriage and family to the level of getting a degree from a Jr. College. We call 3 consecutive dates a “relationship”.
The same people rolling their eyes when marriage and family are promoted are the first to point their fingers and poke their lips in scorn at a young man unable or unwilling to pay some fee set by a court to a woman he barely knows.
There is more to being a Dad than getting a woman pregnant. There is more to NOT being a deadbeat than sending $1300 a month and the occasional pair of Nikes.
A woman who has a child with a man irresponsibly is just as much a deadbeat as the man who got her pregnant.
The answer lies not in demonizing any one gender, but in celebrating the value of limiting - baby producing sex - to people we want to have babies with.
How can you love a little mini-reflection of you, the way God sees you, if you do not first love yourself? That’s what i see as a big problem. Not making excuses at all, it’s really pathetic in a very sad way.
Also, it’s starting to seem that for every good woman who wants nothing more than for her child to know his or her father and is willing to do what it takes to make it happen, there’s some crazy deranged chick that keeps the child from the man because he doesn’t want to be with her. That complicates things and i didn’t really believe this happened until i started seeing it with my own eyes.
All in all, if something doesn’t change soon, we’re in deep shyt.
“A woman who has a child with a man irresponsibly is just as much a deadbeat as the man who got her pregnant.”
Here we go again! I thought we came to a consensus on this?
Whachamean Cookie?
I went to an event the other day where a speaker called black Americans a “dying race,” and it drew a lot of nods and “amens.” I’d say that only about 50% of black children know who their father is and have an actual relationship with him. This is a calamity of the highest order.
DV said: “A woman who has a child with a man irresponsibly is just as much a deadbeat as the man who got her pregnant.”
I certainly don’t believe that and I don’t think you do either. The problem is the lack of testicles on the part of the man. Homos don’t step up when the chips are down, and blame the chick. “It’s her fault, too, dawg!” That’s gay as hell. Even if you went out and got some trick broad pregnant, it’s your kid and you must take care of it. No excuses about “society” and “the government.”
I think Cookie is on point. Most of the deadbeats I know have other major emotional problems in their lives.
Yeah J, but you fail to acknowledge the woman’s role as a deadbeat in all this.
Women are the regulators of reproduction. Back in the old days, women expected to be married before they had sex. This way, she knew dude was serious about her (for the most part), paternity would be as certain as it can be and the man would be around to be part of the process (there are exceptions, of course, but this was the general pattern).
When feminism came along, WOMEN LOWERED THEIR STANDARDS. In the name of liberation, women hand out p! like it’s going out of style, have no expectation of marriage before sex, and then scream bloody murder when dude wasn’t in it for that.
As you always say, men are dogs. If women aren’t going to keep them in line, they aren’t going to do it themselves. It is the responsibility of WOMEN to tame the beast and women aren’t doing it anymore.
D,
I’m not saying women don’t bear any responsibility in this, but there is no excuse for what is going on in Black America right now. Women of all races are giving the P away, but it’s only black children that are getting abandoned.
Though the problem is the responsibility of both the man and the woman, the man sets the tone and is ultimately responsible. The buck stops with him.
DV said: “A woman who has a child with a man irresponsibly is just as much a deadbeat as the man who got her pregnant.”
“I certainly don’t believe that and I don’t think you do either. ” Big J
What?
Why is that … so hard … to believe?
Negros giving speeches about a “dying race” - but when someone addresses the reality of what it takes to raise a healthy generation of young people - Mothers, Fathers & Families - the reaction is as if he can’t be serious.
Don’t want a dead beat dad? Don’t screw deadbeats.
“Keep Your Draws On Your Ass” should be promoted in high schools just as diligently as is “Safe Sex”.
If you love a woman, don’t mislead her to EXPECT a man with whom she has a MARGINAL relationship, to have an INTIMATE relationship with a child.
That’s something the Nation of Islam has been teaching for years.
The solution isn’t demonizing the male side of the equation Big J. You just repeating propaganda. Taking the easy position. You saying what’s popular. What many women like to hear. “It’s his fault!” “He is six months late your honor! Lock his black ass up!”
The solution is telling the truth about what a woman can expect from sexual relationships with men not COMMITTED to them.
If my daughter came home 18 and pregnant by some “boy”friend not ready to be a father.
My first question would be “What the F#ck did you expect?”
Ergo.
I’m not waiting till she is 18 to SHOW her what to expect.
Ok Dina. How do you explain guys that are married and ’serious’ about the woman and children then suddenly they give up on the marriage and fatherhood? The woman is supposed to be a psychic as well?
I disagree that women are responsible for ‘taming’ men. Women do, in fact, play a role in a man’s ongoing practice of taming himself.
How do you explain guys that are married and ’serious’ about the woman and children then suddenly they give up on the marriage and fatherhood? The woman is supposed to be a psychic as well?
I don’t explain it. It happens.
That doesn’t change the fact that women demanding marriage before sex would do a whole lot to remedy the destruction of the Black community.
Cosignin with Dina.
Yeah Dina. I feel you on that one.
DV,
That society teaches women to be sluts is undisputable. Of course, on that, I agree. Of course a woman shouldn’t ‘expect’ a random man to be a good father, but that has nothing to do with how HE should relate to the matter. He should have his own internal compass.
But if white boys are getting the p-ssy at the same rate, why aren’t they abandoning their kids?
I TOTALLY agree with D that if women kept the P in the pants, it’d be a different world. But women won’t keep the P in the pants unless MEN (fathers, older brothers) MAKE THEM.
J,
White boys don’t get P at the same rate! Not by a mile!! LOL!!
Seriously, perhaps White girls aren’t getting pregnant at the same rate, or are having abortions or are giving the babies up for adoption.
Also, White boys don’t have the same incarceration rates that Black men do. There is more at play than just “abandonment”. The War on Drugs has been a War on the Black Family.
DV,
“That society teaches women to be sluts is undisputable. Of course, on that, I agree. ” Big J
That’s not what I’m saying, and I don’t agree with that. I don’t think a woman has to be a “slut” to have a child without a husband or in a committed relationship. That can happen to any woman.
I think society has devalued marriage.
People have sex with each other like rabbits, without marriage even a topic of conversation. Which inevitably leads to children born … by definition … out of wedlock. Which in turn puts those children in a fragile, precarious situation.
You can call the men involved in this process “Deadbeat Dads” & “Lowest Form of Life” on earth, all you want. That’s not going to improve the life of 1 child.
Teach women that Uncommitted Men are a natural result of Uncommitted Sex - and you could change the lives of millions of children.
As far as white boys. You got your facts mixed up. They have just as many children they don’t care for as do black men.
Because their unemployment rate is not as high, the court is probably more successful in garnishing their wages than it is in garnishing the wages of black men who earn … off the books.
Turn off the TV.
DV,
I don’t know 1 white person who doesn’t know their father; I’d say half the black people I know either don’t know or don’t have a relationship with their father. I’m calling bullshit. Garnished wages, etc., man, please.
Of course marriage promotion would end this, but since when is DV caring about the “life of 1 child?”
Dina,
Don’t sell the white boys too short. I’ve seen Girls Gone Wild.
” I don’t know 1 white person who doesn’t know their father;” Big J
…. see. See what happens when you let a kid watch too much Brady Bunch?
-
I’m just speaking the truth, Rev. Wright.
LOL. Ahhhh … that’s funny.
Aight Junebug Limbaugh. Maybe there is something to your Bill Cosby simplicity.
Trailer Parks all around America are just filled with little happily married, meth sniffin’ intact white families.
A nation full of Leave It To Beavers.
Grab the pliers and turn your TV set to Jerry Springer.
I’m talking about the white folks I know, homie. I don’t know nothin’ about the white folks out where you are from - out there in West Virginia (but claiming Baltimore?).
You’re speech at the Nat’l Press Club was…entertaining.
Ahhh Junebug,
The only white folks you know is the ones you work for.
You need to spread your wings Mike Fisher Jr.
Dey Gots Some Po White Fowks Too!
men who do not support their children are lwoer than whaleshyt.
Don’t care what the world say….I N I could never go astray…